Thursday, 7 November 2013

The Vomit Bus Leading to Utopia

How can I begin to describe my few days in Luang Prabang? 

Well I must start by saying it has been incredible, even though it had a bit of a sicky start. A slowly rusting TukTuk bursting with other travellers picked me up from my Guesthouse and slowly rattles it way to the Northern bus station in an ever present plume of exhaust smoke. On arrival the driver takes my ticket from me and without looking at it puts it in a pile with the others. We are then shown to our minibus which was not what I was expecting at all. For the amount of money I had opted to pay I had expected a massive and ancient coach but no. It also turns out there were only 11 of us in a 15 person air conditioned bus which made things even more comfortable. My fears of having to suffer through a ten hour ‘terrible journey to remember’ were starting to lift. It all began well but as the bus began to wind round and round and up and up some of the passengers began to go a little green. I was waiting for my tummy to start to turn but it remained calm which was a blessing. It turns out that the ladies who all became unwell were a group of Vietnamese Travel Agents who had never before left the borders of neighbouring Vietnam. They were selling trips to Laos from Hanoi and had come over to sample the accommodation for themselves. It seems they had also never before taken a long windy bus trip. More and more they vomited into bag after bag knotting the tops and then lining them up at their feet like bags of goldfish at the fair. The bobbed up and down as the bus bumped onwards and the smell circulated the bus.
The journey went very quickly all in all with a couple of loo breaks and a snack stop coming in at around 8 hours give or take. I was pleasantly surprised but so excited to reach Luang Prabang that it felt like an eternity. Once we arrived I shared a Tuk Tuk into town with the travel agents and saw them get dropped off at a big plush hotel with fancy sign writing so curly I couldn’t work out what it said. The driver then asked me for the 4th time the name of my hostel and was very unclear until I repeatedly pointed at it on a map. He drove round and round passing the night market which was just kicking off and finally arrived at my spot. I walked in to a cool room of young backpacker types all talking excitedly about various nightspots and activities. I wondered if this was going to be a bit rowdy for me but I didn’t let it put me off. I checked in with a youngish Lao lady at the reception desk who ask my name glanced briefly at her check in book, flipped a couple of pages and then gave up looking for any of my information. The conversation went like this
 ‘You 3 people?’
‘No just me’
‘You stay one night?’
‘No three nights’
‘You book four bed dorm?’
‘No I booked into the 12 bed dorm’
You see what I mean. Eventually she gave up on that line of questioning too and showed me to a four bed dorm room and pointed at a top bunk. I thanked her and she left. There was a girl in the room who I said hello to and she explained she had booked my bed for a friend of hers and she said they’d messed her around too by moving her to a different hostel when she arrived the day before as they were fully booked – she had booked online and they had just given her place to a walk in. The lady then came back and showed me to another 4 bed dorm and pointed at another top bunk. This time there was no objection.
My remaining time in this hostel was just as hilarious with people coming and going, moving rooms, running around trying to get internet connection, crashing weddings and generally drinking an awful lot. All for 40,000 Kip (3 pounds) a night which is a bit of a bargain in my opinion. The wedding crashing I wasn’t a part of but I did get to witness the fallout. Two Californian girls were who returned on their knees telling tales of attempting Laos Karaoke. At this time in the evening I had only mustered enough energy for a wander round the night market, dinner and of course a massage. I was ready for bed but this was too good to miss, it also allowed me chance to speak to some people and get the lay of the land. A Belgium couple proved very good value with their tales of things to do and the boyfriends insistence of ‘One more beer darling’ and the girlfriends slightly amused ‘Ok darling but this one really must be the last’ she knew very well that it would not be the last. Plus it didn’t seem to really bother her when we had drunk the hostel dry of beer he got in a Tuk Tuk to go and find some more. I was very impressed with her humble acceptance.
The next day I took in the town and really found out what Luang Prabang is really about. Calm. I walked around the town’s streets and narrow lanes for 5 hours or so taking in the various Wats, Temples and magnetic French Architecture. The French past time here was not boule but Badminton, I watched a match between 2 old Laos guys, one young and one French looking kid around the age of 15. The all squatted, thrust and smashed their way with European elegance through the game in a manner quite ill-fitting to the heat. I moved on and watched more as saffron monks with gingham umbrellas held high to protect their heads from the sun stroll with relaxed purpose to somewhere.

 Watching others allowed me to float through those streets like a monk on a silent mission ending up in Utopia.
Utopia is a café, bar and restaurant delicately balanced overhanging on the edge of the Mekong. It is made up of a string of terraces made out of delicate lengths of wood bound together with twine. Thai roll mats line the floors with low tables bamboo chairs and sofas.
Everybody whispers here. Calmness drifts across the vast waters and melodiously permeates its inhabitants. Sarongs draped across the mats offer the occupants utter comfort while they sit motionless watching the long boats glide by as a warm breeze caresses their beaming faces. Butterflies chase one another while dragonflies bob and weave in time to the soft music radiating from the bar. Men and boys fish by the water’s edge, their reels jingling like tiny bells as they wind in their prey.


It is heavenly, so heavenly in fact that I drift off right there on my mat and only awaken once the sun has gone down. No one bothered me; they just left me there to rest.

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